The previous linked blog from herding chickens, in her about me section, she talks about attachment challenges stating that they 'are the hardest type of challenges to explain to anyone outside the home.' Many adoptive parents agree with this and can frequently come up with examples: "He is not like that in school", "She is such a calm girl", "He gets on well in school and works quietly understanding what he is doing" ... (Please comment with others you have heard.) We started this page after similar 'unhelpful' comments from our children's school which then led to the questioning about our parenting. Whilst all this was going on our children where suffering and clearly showing this at home where they felt safe. In turn, at times we questioned ourselves as to whether the child in school was the true child and the one at home is the one we created.
Being a therapeutic parent to children with attachment difficulties means that we deal with, as Herding chickens say: Lying, stealing, manipulation, and aggression towards caregivers are just a few common characteristics in the home. But on the flip side we also have children who as 2 out of 3 say: Are sweet, kind, affectionate and very funny... who are trying very hard to find their way in the world with the odds pretty much stacked against them. If there’s one thing that’s always true of them, is they have a spirit and determination it’s impossible not to admire.
BUT what do the outside world see (by that I mean schools; friends; extended family; and yes, at times, the therapeutic services that are there to support and help us) - they see a child who comes across as happy, is compliant, sometimes can have conversations (although often they are a learnt series of words - we see this with our eldest who gets very confused if the recipient goes off script), and seems to succeed in school. In reality the negative behaviours are only revealed to primary caregivers.
In the blog, linked with permission, from 2 out of 3 she talks about what could be described by many adoptive parents as a typical day. This story and many others are the reason we have created this website and award. We, adoptive parents, want everyone to accept that we are the experts when it comes to our children. We don't want to be belittled, we don't want to be named, blamed, and shamed when things don’t work out - we wont people to listen even if they can't understand. At the end of the day, if where not parenting therapeutically , we are still good parents who give our children much more than any service or money can buy - love, unconditional love and it is exhausting,please forgive us and don't blame us if we don't parent therapeutically or in a PACE way all the time.
Experiences as a service user.
BUT what do the outside world see (by that I mean schools; friends; extended family; and yes, at times, the therapeutic services that are there to support and help us) - they see a child who comes across as happy, is compliant, sometimes can have conversations (although often they are a learnt series of words - we see this with our eldest who gets very confused if the recipient goes off script), and seems to succeed in school. In reality the negative behaviours are only revealed to primary caregivers.
In the blog, linked with permission, from 2 out of 3 she talks about what could be described by many adoptive parents as a typical day. This story and many others are the reason we have created this website and award. We, adoptive parents, want everyone to accept that we are the experts when it comes to our children. We don't want to be belittled, we don't want to be named, blamed, and shamed when things don’t work out - we wont people to listen even if they can't understand. At the end of the day, if where not parenting therapeutically , we are still good parents who give our children much more than any service or money can buy - love, unconditional love and it is exhausting,please forgive us and don't blame us if we don't parent therapeutically or in a PACE way all the time.
Experiences as a service user.